Thank you for correcting. I have fixed the obvious mistakes.
If you don't mind, I have 2 questions though.
1. In panel 2, I was hoping to make the dialogue less formal since this is a private talk between 2 sisters. Is it OK if I only changed it into past tense?
2. In panel 3, I use the word "even" to emphasize that having a phoenix as a pet is extremely unusual. Is "already" do better than "even" in emphasizing peculiarity?
Hope Thank you for your time.